VIP Biz Center.com
  Women's Issues:  
 How to become a big sister (or big brother) volunteer :
More than 500 Big Sisters and Big Brothers agencies in the U.S. representing volunteers to pair with children, based on shared interests and the youth' needs. Many of the children come from single-parent homes and may be at risk for classroom failure, drug use or other problems.
To learn more, write to: The Big Brothers Big Sisters of America
Dept. P 230 North 13th street, Philadelphia, Pa. 19107; or visit www.bbbsa.org site!

How to find help when your marriage is going sour:  
Numerous marriage education groups teach communication and conflict-resolution skills.  For information about programs and costs contact:
1.The Association for Couples in Marriage Enrichment, P.O.Box 10596 , Winston-Salem, N.C.27108 Telephone 1-800-634-8325;
2. Prevention and Relationship Enhancement Program, P.O.Box 102530, Denver, Co. 80250, Telephone  1-800-366-0166  or visit their website at www.prepinc.com
3. Practical Application of Intimate Relationship Skills, P.O.Box 840037, Pembroke Pines, Fl. 33084-0037, Telephone 1-888-pairs-4u or visit their website www.pairs.com
4. National Institute of Relationship Enhancement,  12500 Blake Road, Silver Spring, Md.20904 Telephone 1-800-THE-NIRE;  or visit their website www.nire.org
If you want to see a therapist - check to see if he/she are licensed professional. Contact the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy, 1133 15th Street, N.W., Suite 300, Washington D.C. 20005 Telephone 1-202-452-0109

A directory of marriage-education courses is available at www.smartmarriages.com

Leaving abusive relationship is harder than it seems (written by a case worker at the Domestic violence/sexual assault center in Pennsylvania): Women who are in abusive  relationships are not "stupid" ! Abuse is sinister and can sneak into a relationship. Getting out is difficult because many women have strong emotional attachments to their partners and don't want to acknowledge that they are being abused.  Abusers are highly manipulative. They may repeatedly promise never to do it again, threaten suicide if the woman leaves, threaten to harm the kids or take the kids away if she leaves, or not allow her to hold a job so she cannot save money to escape. They also may deny her access to transportation. Sometimes the abuse begins when the woman becomes pregnant. Many women in abusive relationships have no choice about whether to use birth control, especially if the man controls the finances and doesn't allow her enough money to purchase birth control pills. Also, women in abusive relationships may not have the option to say no to sex. As for the women who manage to leave - a few statistics:  Studies in Philadelphia and Chicago reveal that almost one-fourth of women killed by male partners were separated  or divorced and 28.6 percent of the women were attemting to leave the relationship.  According to the Pennsylvania Coalition against Domestic Violence, 75 percent of domestic violence homicides occur after separation. Also, women who call police may encounter responses from the police as: "be a better wife and he won't have to hit you".  Abuse is about power and control - keeping the woman from having freedom of choice. Become a volunteer at your local domestic violence shelter   and  help prevent abuse.

Leaving abusive man may be difficult, but it's necessary (A letter and answer written to "Ask  Two Moms" in Ft. Lauderdale, Florida) WOMEN IN DISTRESS shelter in Ft. lauderdale phone number is 954-760-9800. If you want to add a shelter phone number in your area send us an e-mail to: shelters@vipbizcenter.com 

I'm a mom and live with a very abusive man. I'm nine months pregnant with his baby and I have a daughter that is not his. She is 6 years old, and he is abusive towards me in front of her and I want to leave him. I don't know how. I don't have any family or anyone to help me. He has threatened many times that he'll take my child from me. I know he can't do that legally but my daughter is very attached to him and she's also very frightened of him. I want to know what toll it would take on her if I left him and she goes through the trauma of not having her stepfather, or if it's worse to have her grow up in this environment which I know is not normal. But unfortunately, because of financial matters and emotional matters, it's hard to leave. My daughter is very very mature for her age and I just want to know how to handle this with her.

Answer:

Dear Mom: As hard as this decision is for you while you are in the middle of it, for us on the outside the answer is crystal-clear. With the information you have presented, for the sake of yourself and your children, you must leave. The only thing you will accomplish by staying is to teach your daughter and unborn child it's O.K. to let people abuse them. Its always better to be alone than to be mistreated, and this is an essential lesson for your daughter  to learn. Additionally, you run the risk of incurring serious harm to yourself and your unborn child if you stay. The sad truth as well is that although he may not hit her now, its probably only a matter of time until the abuse expands to include your daughter. Even if he never hits her, though, the home is still abusive and it is a war zone which is no place to raise a child. It will not get better, only worse. In terms of the "toll" it will take on your daughter, the loss of a stepfather she cares about but is "afraid" of , is nothing compared to the trauma she will suffer if you remain. As easy as it sometimes is to put on blinders, domestic violence is a disease, and like many diseases, it can end in death. Leave today and go to a shelter. The shelter will help you relocate, even out of state if you wish. If you don't feel ready or able to leave, please do begin counseling with a shelter. They can help you talk these issues through, look at your options and devise an escape plan if necessary. A word of long-term advice - please, after you have left, do not reattach yourself to a man. Remain alone for at least a year. It is essential that you learn to live alone and care for yourself and your children. If you do not gain this strength you may find yourself attracting the same type of man again! and we all know you and your kids deserve much better!

NEW TECHNIQUE FOR PAP SMEAR EXAM

Pap Smears Routine examination saves lives, but it could be much more accurate. New technique is a brush called a "CYTOBRUSH" used instead of a cotton swab, can make a huge difference when it comes to discovering pre-cancerous cell. Check with your doctor

What  you should know about Osteoporosis? (by "Female Patient" magazine)

When everything is working right, our bones are continually rebuilding  themselves; Old bone is removed and new bone replaces it. Osteoporosis occurs when not enough new bone in formed or when too much bone is removed - or both. Specifically, you are diagnosed with osteoporosis if you have a bone density that is 25% to 30% below the average for a healthy young adult. Often called a "silent" disease because it has no early symptoms, osteoporosis is characterized by a loss of strength in bones and an increased risk of fracture. Bone fractures resulting from osteoporosis can cause stooped posture, chronic pain, disability, and loss of independence.

Who is at risk? Women have a greater risk of developing osteoporosis than men do, because we have less bone tissue to begin with, and because we lose bone more rapidly after menopause, when our estrogen levels decline. Some of us have additional risk factors: Non-modifiable risk factors: Caucasian race; early menopause or postmenopausal age; small thin stature;  history of bone fracture as an adult; parent or sibling with a history of fracture;    Modifiable risk factors:  diet low in calcium; excessive drinking; sedentary lifestyle; eating disorders; cigarette smoking.

How can you be tested for osteoporosis? Bone mineral density (BMD) tests are recommended if you are 65 or older; you are postmenopausal with at least one risk factor, or you are postmenopausal and have suffered a previous fracture.  This painless tests use small amounts of radiation. Your doctor can use the information they provide to predict your risk of fracture.

The tests available are:   Dual-energy x-ray absorptiometry (DXA). It measures BMD in the spine, hip and wrist in a few minutes, with one tenth the radiation of a standard chest x-ray;   Single-energy x-ray absorptiometry (SXA): measures BMD in the wrist and heel;    Ultrasound densitometry: Assesses bone in the heel, lower leg and knee.      Radiographic absorptiometry: measures bones in the hand  and Quantitative computed tomography: measures BMD in the spine.

How will your condition be managed?  After getting your test results, your doctor may want to build a lifestyle plan for you that combines medication with diet and exercise. Your doctor may also test your urine to determine how quickly you are losing bone. When you are re-examined in 3 months, the doctor will ask you about any side effects you may be experiencing, and may follow up with a second urine test 3 months later to see whether the medication is working. One to 3 years after your diagnosis, your doctor will perform another BMD test to re-evaluate your condition.

Web site helps women assess heart risk:

Almost 45 percent of deaths among women are caused by cardiovascular disease and stroke. The American Heart Association has developed a Web site  that lets women assess their risk factors and take control of risks. Included on the site are some of the questions women should ask their doctor: 1. What are the warning signs or symptoms of heart disease  and stroke? 2.What should I know about the effects of menopause on my health?  3. What is a healthful eating plan for me?  4. What is my cholesterol and is it at a healthy level?  For more information visit the website at http://women.americanheart.org/self_care/fs_reduce_risk.html